Friday, August 28, 2009

Thursday, August 27, 2009


My thought process has been slowly deteriorating with each child. I do still talk rationally with my children, but I also seem to go completely insane at random times.

For instance, I used to say: "Let's change your poopy diaper" and now I say things like "Do you have stinks in your lady parts" or "You gots poops on your peni".

There are random phrases I use a

Buckle your schmuckle.
Skooch your booch.
You got flees in your beez (I have no idea what that means)

And then when the rhyming starts, there can be a whole random paragraph that comes a sing song sort of a way that makes the babies laugh (and others question my normality)

You've got a gurd in your'se got some bees in your'se got some flud in your dud...hey poopalooch, how comes you got such a naked neck ("naked neck" being what we call the babies when they are naked) Little Mr. has a naked beezee...

My babies often go by Mr. Lister (aka Mr. Man) and Mistress Smiley Pants (aka Punkaloon).

There is a name that I call them both, although I can't remember, and I asked my husband and he can't remember, although he did laugh and say that I call them all sorts of things and he went with "twilight stars"...which isn't helpful, although probably pretty close. (I remembered this morning that it is actually beautiful dreamers)

Anyway, all of this is to say that the other day I was talking to my babies and I asked them if they wanted Cheerios. It went something like this:

Do you want some Cheerios? Babies, do want some Cheerios? Do you want some O's in your Cheerys?

And then I laughed and called myself a dork.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009


I put my boy baby into a bath. Fill it with toys. There are stacking toys, ships, floating toys, sinking toys...I mean LOTS of toys. Throw just a tiny bit of bubbles for a little extra fun. Perfect temperature. Great!

So where is he right now but sitting in an empty tub full of toys playing with the drain plug.

Boy baby

Picture this...

I lay down the ducky towel and set naked babies on it, lovingly placing a plate between them with pasta, broccoli, corn and carrots all steamed and ready to go. The girl baby daintily grabs a piece of pasta and starts to eat it. She carefully selects another morsel as she finishes the first, being careful not to overly disturb all of the other tasty tidbits on the plate. She takes her time, making sure that nothing is too hot, too crunchy, or too mushy.

Meanwhile...the boy baby has eaten one piece of pasta (that will be the only thing he eats all day) and has decided that the rest of the food should reside elsewhere. I mean really, a plate?! What in the world was mom thinking? He immediately flips all of the food off of the plate, and as I am putting it back on the plate, he grabs a fist full and flings it onto the carpet with glee. I (having attempted to also eat my food) mistakenly make an attempt to stand him up, which he then interperets to mean stand IN the food on the plate. I wipe his foot off on the towel/food holder and he leans over and takes my bowel of food and empties it onto the floor...but in a different area then the other pile of food. As I try to work out just what is happening, he sneaks in a left handed pasta grab and smears it on his sister. I clean it up, offer more, he says no with body language and then goes on his merry way.

Boys are so cool.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Smash cake (never knew about these before)


In two children start school. I can't decide if I am happy or sad about this. Maybe I am a little relieved that the chaos will dim in my day. I will go from six children down to two. And those ones...(drumroll please)...nap. Sometimes. If they are in the mood to do so.

My middle child will be in afternoon kindergarten. My big girls in 2nd and 3rd grade. That alone makes me want to cry. All I wanted was a baby, and now I have a 3rd grader. I am so old.

Babies are doing great. They are giving much less time to blog by being one. They are everywhere at once...climbing stairs, falling down stairs, eating toilet paper (used) out of the toilet, pooping on things...

I see a theme in my life now. I swear I have written these exact words before.

My midwifery/doula life in getting very busy again. It is amazing that it was gone from my life for so long and now it has slipped right back in with barely a ripple. I could write a whole other blog just about birth. Too bad there are already so many out there.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

People are interesting creatures

So I am driving to Target to get milk (and $45 dollars worth of other things I didn't know I needed) and as I am driving up the night, mind you...I get a very loud "A**HOLE" screamed at me.

Oh, I'm sorry!!!

I didn't know that I was suppose to be aware that you, dressed in black...and your dog...who is black, and NOT on a leash...were planning to be jaywalking at that particular moment.

You're right! I am an A**hole!

And your damn lucky that I didn't kill you both with my car. Stupid person.

Goll that made me angry! I am glad my kids weren't in the car. I can see if I was talking on the phone, or maybe knitting and driving or something and I didn't see them...but seriously.
Just ticked me off and made me want to cuss.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Whoever said...

Whoever said that it gets easier after they turn one must be crazy!

Two mobile infants...going in two different directions. At least when they were little, they stayed where you put them! It is going to be so interesting to watch these babies try different ways to hurt themselves. They like to fall down stairs, they like to go down the driveway, they like to get into buckets full of water, they like to go UP stairs, they like to climb onto precarious perches, they like to bang glass mason jars together and watch them break...Super!

Mr. Man child has yet to walk, although he knows how. He walks like he has been riding a horse for hours. Funny guy.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Happy Birthday Babies!!


One month

Two months

Three months

Four months

Five months

Six months

Seven months

Eight months

Nine months

Ten months

Eleven Months

One year old

Monday, August 3, 2009